Boys Will Be Boys

           Just as I was starting to miss my crazy, fun loving boys I ran into these hooligans. After meeting these boys I wasn't missing mine so much, they were just like Santiago and Everett. These boys were being quite rascally and then I asked if I could take their snap. We had so much fun snapping. If you look beyond their poverty and into their eyes you can see how amazingly awesome these boys are. Just like all boys.

         

We Have Never Swum Before

         All those sports and activities that kids do kind of make me anxious. Of our children, we have tried to involve them in activities that interest them. One loves horses and dance and another has a passion for football but the little one has been a great cheerleader. He goes to events, shows, lessons and practices without complaint. I think that maybe it is because he gets to use his tablet during the week. I was absolutely fine with all this so I am not sure why I was prompted yesterday to sign him up for swim team. I'm gonna blame it in those really cool PFPiranha signs down town. 

  

           Everett had surgery, last month, for double reflux in his kidneys. I think that I spent all my energy into making him well that I figured it was ok that he didn't have an activity of his own. Now that he is better he has been asking to swim. And then I saw the signs. They are just those cheep yard signs that call for registration but I liked the fish or piranha. Anyway it was in blue and looked cool. So we went by the city pool to ask questions and ran into Everett's old preschool teacher. She is on the board of the swim team. Oh how excited she was to see Everett and hear he wanted to be on the team. We immediately went home and signed up. I think we were a little affected by the chlorine? 

             In May he will start practices. I paid the registration fee, and read about commitment, how I have to volunteer and buying a team uniform. I did forget to read the fine print. It wasn't so fine but I just didn't read the whole handbook. Really, how hard can swimming be? He is only going to be seven.  Haha, we have never swum before. 

           Today we had our sat morning date while the others were at their activities. I thought it would be a great day to buy his practice gear. I hadn't bothered to look at what we needed so I asked the employee at the big box store. They claim to be experts in helping with all team seasonal sports. She new exactly what we needed. All $200 worth of stuff. For swimming. No, you can not swim naked. It turns out you need goggles x2, swim shorts, a cap, deck shoes, this special bag, 2 towels, and fins. After 2 hours or looking and trying on we left with this...

Some super special will make you swim faster goggles, the swim cap, and these skin tight training swim shorts. They were out of the fins so I will have to seek them somewhere else. He was so proud of his bag! I think my mom heart swelled a little when he showed his gear to his sister and brother. Then I went to double check on the website to make sure we got the right things and my heart shrunk. I had forgotten to actually read the handbook before signing him up. 

         My children have been swimming since they were 4 months old. I know he can swim. By swim I mean he can jump in the pool anywhere and get back to the edge without drowning. Turns out he needs to be able to swim freestyle, not sure what that was so I Googled it, the length of the pool, 25m.  Turns out doggie paddle does not qualify as a "freestyle" stroke. I guess we should see if he can do this now he is signed up. Does anyone have a pool he can try this out in? If he can't learn to do it than he will not be on the team. Couldn't they have a tryout before they took my registration money? Practice is everyday. Turns out it is not mandatory but if you want to be in the meet attendance matters. Upon further reading I noticed the meets start at 7:30am. Big question here but that is not even the best part. You need to check in before the meet, at 6am. 6am, in case you didn't get that. Why would any one want to be swimming at 6am? Shouldn't we all still be sleeping? What did we sign up for? 

        This should be a fun summer. My only thought now is it is a good thing that Everett looks so cute in those little swim shorts. Wonder if we have the next Michael Phelps? 

         

Coffee, Strangers and Being Late

       

         Once a week I bring the kids to school so Rob can have discipleship time. So I got up today to do just that. I put my hair in a pony and my slippers on, I had every intention of coming home and crawling back in bed. Then I made my bed as I waited for the kids to come downstairs dressed. As every morning I got my cup of coffee ready. We headed to school.
         Last friday we received two letters from our children's school informing us that they had respectively 13 and 17 tardies for our sons. Remember we have 3 kids, so it seems L is never late? I'm not sure if this is indicative of lazy parents or the traffic in Austin but i'm going with the traffic. I talked to Rob about how late they are when there is lots of traffic and he said at the most 3 minutes and the kids are still putting up their things. Now I see lots of discrepancies in this with times, walking to classrooms and going for a late slip but I don't need to fight this. As parents we decided that it is our responsibility and we will just get them up earlier.  We are going to make a conscious effort to leave earlier and get them there on time. The last line of the letter asks us to set up a meeting to discuss continuation at the school, what? I'm going to let Rob handle that!

           That is the reason we headed out so early. In the morning we usually listen to books or podcasts but this morning we got to talking about strangers. At the park yesterday there was a weird man walking around looking at kids so I was on alert. I wanted to make sure I have been a good mom and taught my kids about not talking or going with strangers. We went over all the goodies about puppies and candies. They assured me they knew all about that. I know I talked to L&S about it but E is much younger so I wasn't sure if I had been good about teaching the youngest .Then we started onto who can take you from school. Who is it OK to leave with and when you need to ask the office to see if mom or dad have called. They know that there are only 2 people who can pick them up without asking the office. Great, my kids are smart, but what if. So what if Gram came to pick you up? Yes! and why? Because we know she loves and cares for us and she is your mom. It was yes but also because Rob and I have discussed it with my mom and dad and given them that authority. What about aunts and uncles? No, because even though they love us you need to tell us we can be picked up by them. What about Grandma and Grandpa. This one they weren't sure about. I said no (i'll most likely get told off for this) but they haven't invested the time in our kids for Rob and I to feel safe if they ever just picked them up. Then we talked about safe words and what they mean. But I was assured that S knew who and what was OK. I'm wondering if I should test them this afternoon? It will be like they do on TV when they see if the kids really follow what their parents said. I wonder if that candy is to much to pass up? I do know that if someone offered me a puppy I just might see if they really have one. I'm scared to find out what my kids would do but at least we talked about it. 

The Art of Complaining

       As a mom I have gotten really good at complaining. I believe I have even made an art out of it. I know I have to pick my battles but when it involves my children the Momma Roar  comes out load and clear. There is a situation that has been stewing in my mind and today I finally felt the need to say something.

         This fall we signed Leigha up for dance class. She is at a supposed great studio about five minutes from our house. What a bonus that was! Even though it seemed great I still had some questions. See Leigha is my horse girl. So with dance we were in a new territory and I wanted to make sure we got it right. I arrived first person to sign her up on new class registration day. I asked lots of questions about the studio, expectations, ability, and requirements. It was said many times that they are a very traditional studio and strive for correct discipline in the art of dance. The owner was great and I left with a whole list of dance wear and shoes to buy. In the paperwork it said "students must". So one Saturday we went on an adventure looking for all of these musts. 

          The first thing we went to find were the "must" have tan jazz shoes. This studio requires tan.  I was told that in their competitions and recital they need the tan color. Ok, so Payless does not carry tan jazz shoes they only carry black. We tried another dance shop but they also only carry black. Third time was a charm though. For 48 dollars we got tan jazz shoes.  It took a while because Leigha has really big, skinny, long feet? At the same shop we bought ballet shoes for 28 and tap shoes for 45. This idea of dance class was starting to get expensive and I was rethinking my save money on a combo class idea. Silly me. 

         After all those shoes we still needed the leotards, tights, and a skirt or two. Leigha is outgrown little girl target leotards so we had to go to a specialty shop to find her size. With the specialty shop we had to pay those specialty prices also. I was so excited to find 2 and tights on clearance for 24 dollars each. This was half off the original price! We didn't find any skirts just these short little things called hot pants. I am not buying my nine year old "hot pants"! So we went home and ordered two skirts online. All said and done we must have spent close to $200 dollars just so Leigha could be dressed appropriately for her dance class. 

           It has now been over a moth and she has had class five times. I was so excited to bring her to the first class because she was so excited to go. She chose to wear the pretty purple leotard, white tights, white flowing skirt, and hair up in a French braid. She was ready and looked so beautiful.

             Every class she is either dressed like this or in another leotard, skirt and tights. Appropriately for class. 

              So now we are at the complaining part. Every week I bring Leigha. I sit and watch as all the girls come into class. I have noticed how inappropriately the girls are dressed. They don't wear tights, most don't have leotards on and their hair is hanging in their face. This irks me! What happened to respect for dance?  I have been thinking about this for a few weeks. Today I emailed the dance studio. Now as far as complaining I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check. My thoughts are also so jumbled I'm afraid that I don't get my point across well. So I started with the word "disappointed" in the subject line. That one word expressed exactly what I have been feeling. 

               I was disappointed that the girls were not dressed appropriately. I was disappointed that the teacher was dressed like a tramp, I was disappointed that the other parents did not care enough to help their children, I was disappointed that The owner did not say anything to their employees. I was disappointed in myself for not saying anything and letting Leigha feel less of herself. See she was the reason I finials said how disappointed I was in the situation. Leigha asked why the other girls did not care about what they were wearing. She wanted to ow why it was such a big deal that we got the right shoes and clothes when the others do not have them. She said she felt weird in the proper dress when the others weren't wearing it. This was about the time the Mom Roar was working itself out. Why should Leigha feel that that she is the one in the wrong because she did what was right? 

                Sometimes complaining works. Just an hour after I sent my email I got a response from the studio owner. She assured my that they would rectify the situation immediately. Everything we had spoken about at the beginning of the class was now going to be enforced. Yeah!

                 I didn't do this to create an issue but to bring attention to what was going on. I learned complaining when done with the best intentions, with facts and clear words maybe you'll get results. Maybe.

  

Here is the email I sent the studio...

               I wanted to make known my concern and disappointment. My daughter is in the Friday evening  tap/jazz/ballet class. We are only on the fourth week and I have noticed that the girls are not dressed appropriately. When I signed my daughter up I asked specific questions about what the girls must wear to class. I was told they must have tights and a leotard on. Apart from that they could wear a skirt or hot pants. The shoe list was also quite specific. I, as a parent, went out and bought the appropriate clothes and shoes. I have seen the young girls come into the studio without proper clothes or shoes. It is very important to have the correct items for the sport you choose. If the girls are not wearing the appropriate clothes they show a lack of respect for the sport. The discipline and art of dance is beautiful, intense and fun. The girls need to learn at this young age how to respect the sport they have chosen. They need to learn how and why they are needed to dress for that sport. If they can't remember to dress acceptably are they going to remember what they are expected to do at competitions or recitals? Just like the instructor should dress appropriately, not just a pair of short cotton shorts! Which I have seen there and was very shocked! It is our responsibility as adults to train and teach our children they are not going to just figure it out on their own. My son plays football and if he showed up to a game or practice without his gear he would not be allowed to participate. If he forgets his mouth guard he is not even allowed on the field. It is the same for any sport, art or instrument  and I would hope that the coach, leader, teacher, or trainer would insist upon  being prepared. Just as the instructor should be prepared to teach appropriately. I understand it is easier to just wear what ever is comfortable but we should not be looking for the easy way out. If most of the girls are not taking dance seriously how does that make the other students feel? I know that my daughter is noticing what the other girls are wearing and she has asked why the are not dressed right. She is concerned that she now looks different, she is starting to feel self conscious. She has mentioned that she loves the instructor but that she feels that some other girls like to goof off. she is confused because of what she and I expected the class to be like. 

         I am sorry to bring this up but I thought that I had inquired about some of these concerns even before we signed up. I know that many other studios are very disciplined in this and the students do not have a problem because they know that if they want to dance they must do what is required. Thank you for listening to my concern on this issue.

Thank you,

Dawn Amato

       Homework, yesterday, let me thinking about what my children's thoughts are about what my job as a mom really is. My little one had a project to interview a parent about their job. As I am the parent that helps the children with homework time, I get the tough questions.

My little asked "What is your job?". I did not hesitate and answered that "I am a Mom." He laughed. What was so funny about that?

 "Mom, I mean a real job." What! 

"Everett, being a Mom is a real job." Duh.

He was still giggling and I love his giggle so that may be why I was able to really process what he was saying to me. 

"No, Mommy I mean a job where you help people." What? 

"E, I do help people. I help you and Sissy and Brother all day"

"No, not that I mean other people." Ok, I have an answer to this i'm thinking.

"I do help other people. I volunteer, help at the school, do things for neighbors, strangers and friends. I am busy helping people all day" That was a great answer, I'm proud of myself!

"No!" he is still giggling, "I mean outside help. Where you do things for other." At this point I am starting to get a little irked as I think about what I did that day. I got up at 6. got husband and kids fed, ready, backpacks packed,  lunches made, and out the door, fed 4 pets, did laundry, dishes, cleaned, made beds, washed bathrooms, then i finally had some coffee. Then I sat down and wrote an adoption grant. If you have never written a grant or filled out the adoption paper work consider yourself lucky. Hours later, all paperwork done; 100 questions answered, 2 essays about our family and our faith answered, emails sent to pastor and adoption agency, tax forms and home study copied, a spread sheet of  our money flow and after all that the grant is almost ready to mail. I then had to cancel a meeting with someone about finishing a quilt. Then I met a friend for a late lunch. I fielded some phone calls from my sick husband for a bit. Then I had to get food for dinner, pick up the kids, get one ready for football and make dinner. Making dinner was what I was doing when Everett was asking me about my non-existent job. I had to stop and pray at this time that I would say the right thing.   

"I really do have a job helping people. Everett, I did a lot of work today" Ha! I feel much better about myself.

"Mom, I think i'm going to ask Daddy."

say what?

"Doesn't Daddy kill bugs?"

??????

"Everett, Mommy has a real job. She takes pictures of people." Oh I love my middle child. Santiago, you are amazing! Thank you for saving me!

You can see my answers to the questions Everett had to ask in the photo above. I realized that the reasons I love being a photographer are some of the same reasons I love being a Mom!

I know that all moms go through something like this. I just want you to know that I KNOW you have a real job. It is probably the hardest job ever. We should all gt a regular salary, vacation and sick days for it but we don't. Maybe just a nice glass of wine will be enough? Never, but thank you for all you do everyday. You are making a better world.

 You are doing your JOB!